I hate these weekends.

Usually, any weekend without an IZOD Indy Car series race is a bad one.  But, double the pain with Formula One and NASCAR at two of their most boring tracks in the Hungaroring and Pocono and it becomes a sleepy weekend.  (Although the last 50 laps haven’t been too bad at Pocono as I am typing this) No sports car racing on the ALMS or Grand Am side and the weekend becomes downright bleak. Luckily, the USF 2000 and Star Mazda races from the Autobahn County Club in Joliet, IL, saved the day for some “normal” racing.

I know that my wife doesn’t know the weekend racing schedule as well as I do, but it may be just woman’s intuition that she knows I’ll have some “free” time.  My idea of free time and her’s.  Quite diametrically opposed!

So this weekend, I’ve created a new event.  Welcome to the Honey Do 500 By Scrubbing Bubbles.  On the pole is your’s truly and I’ll be leading the field to the start line of the following wonderful household chores, in no particular order:

1.  Move the bookcase to “her” corner of the living room.  “You’ll do better with your stuff on the shelves.”

2.  Hedge clipping.  “You know those bushes haven’t been trimmed in a few….years.” After 678 micro-cuts and abrasions, I think the damn hedges look pretty good now.  At least good for 4 more years.

3. Tree Trimming.  “Since your out here with the hedge clipper…”  Six Pine Tree from Hell branches later and now my sons can continue to not cut the grass under the trees.

4. Play Golf with the Boys.  Actually enjoyed this one.  First time that I could play with both my sons as my youngest has taken up the game this year.  Dad still can beat the boys, so the rumours of my demise have been greatly exaggerated on the links.

5. Clean the Pool. Ugh…I don’t even swim!  Why do I have to….oh nevermind.

6. Make Dinner.  Used to love to cook but my hands just don’t work like they used to. (That’s what she said…What??)  Did make some great sirloins and grilled chicken breast.  OK, guess this one wasn’t so bad.

7. Go to Lowe’s. (Or Home Depot if you like Joey Logano) Just looking right…We do need new doors…The toilet is acting funny….Bank Account diminished.

8. Sunday morning Toilet Replacement.  For those of you who have done this, really, really clean and fun job..you know where I’m coming from.

9. Bathroom Floor Replacement.  “Since we have the toilet removed, doesn’t it make sense…” No, nothing makes sense any more.  When can I go back to work where I can talk to my Tweeps and rest.

10. NASCAR…Ah screw it, might as well watch….

Heading to Mid-Ohio next weekend THANK GOD.  Sure that the hotels will not need any landscaping or contracting work.

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